In my effort to be present in my day to day moments
I realized I needed to step back a little from feeling like
my blog was an assignment that had to be completed
like a deadline.
It was feeling like another thing I was staying up late
to finish and that was keeping me from being
present in the now.
So I apologize for my absence.
But oh so much has been going on here.
Lots and lots of hammering and sawing.
Which means lots and lots of dust and messes.
And that has given me lots of opportunities
to practice breathing and letting it roll off my shoulders.
Nothing seems to be where it should be
and there are workers coming and going.
We had our heat disconnected for several days
in the midst of a cold spell here in Southern California.
But it's all good.
I just bundled up A LOT and wore my jacket all day long.
And it has made me think a lot about the Compassion International
child we adopted from Guatemala.
And how this is her reality all the time.
We are so privileged and I count my blessings.
I will not complain.
|The girls being goofy dressed up the lamb a neighbor gave us.|
So here are some highlights from my absence here.
My sister visited from New York.
We celebrated her and her baby to be at a shower in Orange County with mostly friends from college.
I made a fun finger print tree wall hanging to represent the many
women showering her and her baby with love.
She'll bring it with her to New York where more fingerprints
will be added and then it'll be a great addition to her nursery decor.
It was a night before the shower idea I got after stumbling upon this on etsy.
It was too late for me to place an order
so I decided to try to make one out of cardstock.
We celebrated a friend at a girly princess tea party.
And had lots of Valentine's Day celebrations. Gosh.. I've been away too long haven't I?
Audrey and I both got haircuts.
I had to bring her with me and she was so excited about mommy's bangs (yes.. I finally got them again.. and am so glad I did) that she begged to get them too and to get short hair as well.
I didn't bring a camera because this was totally an on the spot decision. But I'm so glad I had my phone.
I think the cut is perfect for her little spunky personality. I love it! :)
And it led me to actually blow dry my girl's hair.
Can you believe I actually never had. Really, truly, never. I had always let their hair air dry. They absolutely loved it. Ava thinks she's miss Rapunzel.
And I love seeing them love on each other.
OH and I'm so so so excited.
Plans for one of these is in the works.
I woke up one morning and though I was joking at first, I realized this really could happen.
And it is!
It has been a dream of mine to have a creative space that I could work in and be able to have
everything handy and organized. I didn't think we had room.
But in doing the built in, it opened up the closet on the other side of the wall.
Since they back up to one another we figured out we can salvage quite a bit of wasted space.
Oh I'm so excited about the possibilities
and the fact that I can go crazy creating and then shut
the doors when I'm not yet ready to put everything away.
Half the battle for me is not wanting to get everything out
and put it all away. That alone can take so long I'll run
out of steam to create... I know you know what I mean. :)
We've also had lots of time to do this
Lots of mommy practicing saying no to commitments that take away from family time.
And lots more moments where I'm present. Present.
Gosh I forgot to tell you I planned for everyone at my sister's shower to bring a photo of them with their kids or with my sister to send her well wishes or advice for her new role as a mom. I brought papers and embellishments and we created a book for her right there. In doing my page for her, I was brought to tears.
I searched out photos of me with each of my newborn babies and I realized even though it wasn't that long ago those days feel so far away. I did soak them in, but I also was very much in survival mode with each of them. One had colic for eight months, two had food allergies, one had reflux, and with one life issues interrupted my newborn bliss. Now I'm realizing just how fast that time really did speed by. I know so often in the middle of it, it didn't feel like it. And I loved having babies, so don't get me wrong. If it was the Lord's will I'd probably have another if my health weren't compromised. It all just made me so, so, so sentimental.
Between saying goodbye to our beloved Bella and realizing I'm saying goodbye to the days of babyhood my husband said, "Maybe there's something the Lord wants you to learn from this." Instead of feeling sad over what is over, I can completely and whole-heartedly soak in today. I know it's no coincidence that my word for the year, the theme throughout 1,000 gifts and the things life has thrown me so far this year are all echoing the same thing. Slow down, and treasure today.
Instead of feeling sad over what is gone, what is fleeting, I can hold onto these moments and soak them in all the more strongly. I know my kids will feel my presence more and I know I won't look back with any regrets.
In theme with saying 'goodbye' I said goodbye to this today.
It was a mural I did for my daughter's nursery
|Side Note: I found this chandelier on ebay for 50 dollars back then. It was my first ebay purchase. I was SO excited.|
back in 2004 when I was pregnant with her. The whole area by the ceiling and window suffered water damage and it was really unable to be salvaged. I was surprisingly ok with saying goodbye to it.
I guess because it has been six years and now I get to work on making their room a big girl room.. maybe with a new mural one day.
I discovered the color I had on the walls is no longer made by Martha Stewart. I loved it. It was called pale naples yellow. I was going to just keep it the same, that's how much I loved it. But today after finding out it's no longer made, I decided to change it up a bit.
I guess the whole point of this post is just to say that we've had a lot going on around here. In the midst of all of this we've had two kids sick off and on and managed to sqeeze in a work/date night because I was hired to cover the Battle: LA junket. It was fun. Not necessarily the kind of movie I would have paid to go see. But I definitely was drawn into the storyline and it was nice to have my husband next to me to grab onto when it got scary.
I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! I'm looking forward to having slow family mornings around here. And I'm hoping to stay dry!